Opening Old Wounds
by JENTWCSINYFAN2
Summary: The team has a case where a petty officer died in a similar manner to Tony's mom. It opens old wounds and brings up old feelings that he has buried for a long time and maybe needs help dealing with. has this idea recently . thanks dustyiger for the spark.. If there are Tony and Ziva moments and this offends anyone I am sorry . Someone reviewed and said they wanted a warning .
1. Chapter 1

Opening Old Wounds: Tony fic

Authors note : The team has a case where there is a petty officer who dies but she is found in a similar manner to the way that Tony's mom did so old memories and feelings resurface that he hasn't dealt with. Had this just pop into my head and don't know if anyone ever used the idea . Thanks dustytiger for the listening .

It was a normal routine Tuesday morning. "Grab your gear, we got a dead petty officer who didn't show up to board her ship this morning." Gibbs said as the team was sipping their coffee and getting reayd to start their day .

Tony said "I hate these first thing in the morning crime scenes, they are never a good omen for how the day is going to go."

Ziva replied" What is the matter, did you not get enough beauty sleep last night Tony?"

Mcgee chuckled. "Nice. "

Tony said "I slept just fine Ziva, got a new mattress that feels just like a cloud ."

Gibbs said " Maybe we could think about why our petty officer didn't wake up this morning on the way to the case instead of Dinozzo's bedroom for a few minutes huh?"

Forty minutes later: The team entered her apartment and saw that it was neat and painted brightly blue. Tony said " Looks pretty cheery in here." He started to look around the living room. "Nice couch, hmm she liked James Bond movies. Different for a woman."

Ziva said " That is right you think we are all into how do you say it chick flicks?"

Tony said "Pirates of the Caribbean I rest my case Ms. David."

Gibbs said" You two mind less yabba yabba and maybe coming in here to look at the crime scene sometime today?"

Tony nodded. "On it boss." He went into the room first and saw the petty officer laying on her left side with an opened bottle of red wine and some sleeping pills on the nightstand. He looked at her and said "Uh boss I need a minute I'll be out in the hall, ok."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Ok finish the apartment."

Tony said " On it."

Mcgee said " This is Petty Officer First Class Renee Thomas. She was to leave today on a six month tour to lend support in the Mediterranean. We were alerted when she didn't show up to board the ship at Norfolk on the USS Ronald Reagan. She is 34 and single. Has a roommate here , we are trying to locate her now boss."

Gibbs nodded. " When Ducky gets here have him take the body back, something rattled Dinozzo about this one."

Mcgee said "On it, I hope Tony is ok."

Gibbs sighed. " Me too."

Tony was processing the living room and quiet when Ziva came out a minute later. "What was that about in there?"

Tony said" The room was a little too small. I thought I could work better out here."

Ziva said " All right but I think some thing in there got to you. I saw it in your eyes."

Tony said " Just let it be Ziva , I don't need to share every time a thought comes in to my head about a case."


	2. Chapter 2

Hours later: Tony had been quiet all day and focused on the case which was unusual. He hadn't eaten much dinner even when they had ordered Chinese. Finally after hours Ziva heard the shower running and shut off at the mens locker room and she went inside. Tony had just stepped out and his hands were beaten up from hitting the heavy bag.

"Ziva I would like to go home, not to mention I did just get out of the shower so there are probably all kinds of rules about this around here."

She said" Gibbs wanted me to make sure you were all right and clearly you are not. You were quiet all day and you did not eat your garlic spareribs which you love."

He replied" I wasn't hungry, it happens sometimes. "

She said " What is it about this case Tony? You clearly have something bothering you and it is playing with your brain."

He replied" There are some things I don't talk about, about my family. I don't like to remember all right. I found someone like our petty officer once and it got under my skin. I'll handle it with a cold beer and my bed and I'll be fine tomorrow."

Ziva looked at his hands for a moment. "You need to put ice on your hands or they will be stiff tomorrow . You don't usually hit things when you are upset."

Tony said " Ask Ducky about after Kate sometime he'll tell you. Spent six weeks in a splint over that one."

He ran a towel through his hair and pulled on a Baltimore PD sweatshirt. "See you in the morning Ms. David."

She said "No I am coming home with you, you shouldn't be alone tonight even if you do not want to talk to me . You were there when things happened with my father so at least let me be here now."


	3. Chapter 3

At Tony's apartment: He opened the door and placed his keys inside the bowl on the table and then fed his fish. He said" Kate I hope you like the bigger tank I got you. Maybe we need to get you a friend."

Then he got two beers out of his refrigerator.

"I'm going to have one of these Ziva want to join me? "

She nodded. "All right but I think you should ice your hands so they are not stiff tomorrow too."

Tony sighed. " After I finish my beer. I might need some time off to go home. May have to ask Gibbs for a few days to get my head cleared."

Ziva said "I think that would be good and maybe you can talk to your father too."

Tony shrugged. "If he's even in town when I go up there, I don't always know if he will have business somewhere else that takes him out of the city."

Tony swallowed some beer slowly. He got out his cell phone and dialed Gibbs.

Gibbs answered. " Did you get your head out of your ass yet Dinozzo?"

Tony replied" Well I was going to ask for a few days to go home to New York to do that. I need some time away for a little while."

Gibbs said" All right take it but you're on the desk when you get back cowboy."

Tony replied "Thought so, I didn't expect anything less. Desk it is boss thanks." Then he hung up.

Ziva said "Would you like me to stay tonight? I could give you a massage , I can tell you are in knots standing there Tony, please let me help you."

Tony smiled slightly. "Sure sweet cheeks . Though I can't promise I'll do much more than sleep tonight. I'm not in the frame of mind for other things."

Ziva touched his face gently. "I do not need sex all the time when I stay here with you. I understand that sometimes you need to just be held or simply sleep in our bed. "

He said "How did I get lucky enough to find someone like you?"

She went to Tony's freezer and found frozen peas and placed them on his left hand. "Let them there for a few minutes so your knuckles do not get black and blue."

He said"My left's worse than my right, I hit harder with that one."

She said" We will still ice that one down after you are finished with your beer."

He exhaled. "I'm going to go get comfortable on the bed then I'm feeling wiped honey."

She looked at him. "All right, I hope you will not end up getting sick over this though."

He said "I won't sweetheart, just need some sleep."


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning:

Tony woke up to the scent of coffee brewing and stretched. He rolled over to find the other side of his now king sized bed empty and sighed. Oh well if she had left it was for the best. She didn't need his crap anyway. He got up and went to his kitchen slowly and saw her standing there dressed for work.

"Good morning, you were sleeping so peacefully I did not want to wake you."

He said" Morning back at you, coffee smells good and so does whatever is cooking."

Ziva smiled. "I made french toast casserole this morning. It is something comforting before you fly to New York later."

Tony touched her face. "Thank you that's sweet. I might need that today."

She kissed him gently. "Do not shave for me while you are off, I like it when you do not."

Tony said " All right though it's only for a few days. I'll miss you my ninja."

She said " Me too but I will call you later and see how your trip went."

He smiled. "Unless I call you first, now I need to pack some clothes and some music for the flight."

She said "We will eat first and then after I leave for work you can pack."

A few hours later: Tony had gone to where his mother was. He laid her favorite flowers, white lilies down for her and said " Mom it's Anthony. I had something happen at work that made me think about you and well I just needed to visit. I'm a federal agent with NCIS now and there was a case that hit home." "I miss you a lot, think I found the right woman for me who can cut through all my bullshit. You would like her a lot. I didn't bring her this time though."

He felt tears sting his eyes and ran his hand over the stone for a minute.

It read Camilla ( Paddington) Dinozzo 3-5-1942 -7-10-1976

Devoted wife and loving mother

Then he heard footsteps and turned around slowly. "Dad?"

Anthony Dinozzo Senior was there also with flowers that he laid by his former wifes grave. " Junior, what are you doing here ?"

Tony said "I had a tough one at work and I got overwhelmed so I came up to see mom. I need to know what happened when she well left."

Senior took a deep breath and touched his wifes stone. "Anthony your mother had two miscarriages before we had you. Then we found out she had ovarian cancer, they did a hysterectomy but when they were in there they found out the cancer had advanced very rapidly."

He swallowed for a moment. "She was on borrowed time at that point. Her stubborn streak which you have made her decide that she didn't want us to see her suffer so she chose to end it the way she did. For a long time I was angry with her for taking time away from both of us that we should have had with her."

"That is the truth and I should have told you long ago instead of letting your mothers family hurt you by lying about what happened to her. I should have talked to you about her before now instead of shutting down on you son."

Tony said "Well at least now I know what happened to her. You had to be hurting too Dad, I have lost people I have cared about since."

Senior sighed. "I am sorry son that I made you think you couldn't feel. I was wrong for that and I should never have done it. Can you try and forgive me?"

Tony exhaled. "Sure Dad I can. I need to go slow and try and process this all first though."

His father nodded. "I understand, it will take you some time. I know a place here in town that has a great rib eye , do you want a late lunch or an early dinner on me?"

Tony said "Sure that sounds good .I'm a little hungry, I'm staying at the Waverly Inn."

Senior said" Why spend your money on that? I'm home and there is an extra room at my place with a king sized bed. "

Tony shrugged. " I guess I can cancel, I wasn't sure you'd be in town since this was kind of spur of the moment. After we eat, I'll go get my stuff."

His dad nodded. "All right , you look tired son, I hope you're getting enough sleep and not working too hard."

Tony sighed. "Well I can be a little lazy while I'm here for a few days on a break can't i?"

His dad patted his shoulder. "Sure whatever helps you feel better."

Later : Seniors Penthouse on Park Avenue in New York City, beside Trump Tower

Tony said "You redid the place since the last time I was here. I like the colors, the plum and gray."

Senior said "It needed a change all that tan wasn't my taste. It was more Valerie's when she lived here."

Tony nodded. "Looks good, is the spare bedroom still back the hall?"

His dad replied " Opposite mine through the left wall."

Tony said "I'll put my bag in there later."

Senior said " Let me it doesn't look that heavy. I'm sure you could use a little time to unwind a bit. " He took Tony's suitcase to the bedroom then.

Tony sat on the couch for a moment and then pulled his feet up slowly. He had his head down on the armrest when his father came back.

His dad said " You look comfortable, let me get you a pillow."

Tony said "Sure Dad thanks."

Senior came back with a pillow and put it under his sons head gently. "There you are." Then he wandered over to his fireplace and started a fire going. "I know this isn't quite like when you are at Gibbs's place but I figured you would like a fire and a nap maybe."

Tony replied "I do the Dinozzo machine isn't running at full speed right now.I needed a break I think to recharge a little."

Senior ran his hand over Tony's forehead. "You don't have a fever, maybe you just need to catch up on some rest."

Tony yawned. "It's been a busy few months Dad." Then his eyes closed slowly.


	5. Chapter 5

A while later : Tony woke up and remembered where he was. He saw his dad sitting in his recliner reading a book by John Grisham.

He said "Did you have a good nap?"

Tony replied "Yeah I did, I guess I crashed pretty hard."

Senior said" You needed it. Ziva and Gibbs called your cell while you were asleep. I told them you were resting but would call them back when you were awake."

Tony said " All right I can now." He picked up his cell and dialed Gibbs first.

"Hey boss, what's up ?"

Gibbs replied " So you're staying at your dads place Dinozzo?"

Tony said" Yes, we're working on some things. I'll tell you over a cowboy steak and a beer when I get back."

Gibbs said " All right but if he hurts you I am on my way up there to kick his ass."

Tony smiled a little. "It's ok papa bear I'm fine. I need to give him a shot to make things better between us. "

Gibbs said "Just remember that I have your back Dinozzo always."

Tony replied "I know even when I take it for granted."

Then he hung up and dialed Ziva.

"Hey sweet cheeks."

She replied "Hello Tony, how are you feeling?"

He said "I'm getting there. I just had a pretty good nap by a toasty warm fire here. I also know what happened with my mom now."

"She lost two babies before me and then got ovarian they got in there and did a hysterectomy it had already spread too fast. She didn't want to me or dad to see her suffer so she got stubborn and ended it on her own terms."

He exhaled. "It made Senior mad for a while because he felt that we both should have had that time with her and we got ripped off."

Ziva said " I am so sorry for you and for your father Tony. It is hard to go through this."

Tony replied "I know but at least I know what happened and why now." Then he was quiet again.

Ziva asked "Is there anything I can do for you?"

He said" Save me a hug when I get back and maybe one of those neck rubs that you do. I'm talking it easy until I fly back pretty much, your voice helped too."

She replied "You can have both of those things. I can come there if you need a friend right now, I will ask Gibbs."

He said "If you can manage it fine,if not it's two more days. I'm going to get caught up on some sleep mostly and let Senior cook for me."

Ziva said " I will call you if I can come, please get some sleep if you can and talk to your dad. You both need it."

He said "I will, hey I'll be back before you miss me too much."

She replied "That is not possible Anthony Dinozzo."

Then he hung up and smiled a little.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors note: Sorry I didn't tell people this fic may have Tiva in it. Someone reamed me out in a review and said I should have so they could ignore it well ok there is your notice. Also added it to my summary but I didn't know what direction it was going to go when I started to write so I apologize to those I offended.

Tony was at his dads the next day being lazy and wearing a hooded sweatshirt with NCIS on it and jeans. He was stretched out on the couch with his Ipod on when there was a knock at the door. He stood up and answered it since his dad was in the kitchen. He opened the door and saw Ziva standing there .

"Wow, well hello I didn't think you were going to come up. "

She replied " I told Gibbs you needed a friend right now and I wanted to be there for you. So he gave the team an early weekend."

Tony said " Thank you." Then he hugged her.

She looked at him for a minute and touched his face. "You look tired, aren't you sleeping well?"

Tony shrugged. "It's just not the same as your own bed."

Then Senior came out of the kitchen and smiled. "Well hello Ziva it is good to see you again."

She smiled. "Good to see you as well Mr. Dinozzo , how are you?"

He said "Well quite honestly a little concerned about Anthony but you seem to have improved his mood."

Ziva said "I know he is dealing with a tough time right now and I am sorry about your wife and his mother."

He replied " So am I , I hate that something brought it back up again for him."

Tony said " It happened, it was always in the back of my mind though. Mom was a beautiful woman."

His dad said "You have her eyes. And her smile."

Ziva listened and then said "What smells so good in the kitchen?"

Senior said "I made Tony's favorite, his grandma Dinozzo's manicotti , I think I still remember the sauce."

Tony blinked. "Wow dad I haven't had that in years."

Senior patted his shoulder. "Thought you might like something comforting for lunch today. I know she always made it for you when you were younger and didn't feel well or had a bad day."

Ziva smiled. "I cannot wait to try it, I hope you wrote it down so I can make it for Tony when we go back home sometime."

Senior said "Well it does get passed to special women in a Dinozzo mans life, I think you qualify my dear."


	7. Chapter 7

A week later: Tony was back at work again but still kind of quiet. He went down to Abby's lab late in the day and said " Hey Abbs can you do something for me?"

She replied" If you need a hug you never have to ask."

He smiled a little. "No it's not that, but thanks . I was wondering if you could age a picture for me on your computer so I can see what someone would look like now."

Abby said "Sure I can , it's easy. I just have to scan the picture into my aging software and then we are good to go."

Tony handed her one of the pictures of his mother that he had and a few that hadn't been removed from his house after she had died. He said "Here it is, I have other ones. That was my mom."

Abby blinked. "Wow she's beautiful. You have her eyes for sure."

Tony said "Yeah dad says that too. I don't know exactly."

Abby said" Oh trust me it's there."

She scanned the picture and said "Ok it will just be a minute until I pull it up on screen for you."

Tony inhaled. "I think I want to see it but I'm not sure I'm ready. I mean it's been a long time and everything."

Abby gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Maybe you need to so you can heal."

Tony sighed . "Better late than never I guess but then Dinozzo's don't do things like everybody else."

Abby's computer pinged. "Ok here we are." She moved her mouse for a few minutes and then opened the file she had placed the picture in.

Tony looked at it and was quiet. " Wow. So that's what she would be like. " One tear slid down his cheek and he wiped it away. "Thanks Abbs this means a lot to me."

Abby said "Hey wait a minute, come here." She pulled him into a hug. "It's ok to miss her and feel sad. She would be proud of what you are now and that you help people. Hold on to that."

He inhaled. "I know. Doesn't mean that sometimes I still don't need her though."

He walked out of Abby's lab to head home not knowing that Gibbs was off to the side listening to the conversation from the beginning.

Abby said "Gibbs what are we going to do? He's really hurting. This is his mother or what she would look like now. How do we help him through this?"

Gibbs said" Abby what you did tonight was a big start, he's letting it in. Now we just be here when he wants to talk more or let him yell whatever it takes to get him better."

Abby nodded. "He's not Tony when he's sad Gibbs. He doesn't have the bounce in his step that he usually does. Get it back."

Gibbs sighed. "I'm trying but he has to want it first."


	8. Chapter 8

A few days later: Tony was at work early. McGee said "Wow your glasses are back, haven't seen those in quite a while."

Tony said " Well McNosey my eyes weren't cooperating with my contacts this morning, must be allergy season early."

He went back to the paperwork on his desk again.

Gibbs got out his cell phone. "Hey Duck, need you to pull a medical file for me. No I'll be down in a minute and tell you."

Tony said "Thanks a lot McSquealer, couldn't leave it alone could you."

Ziva said "Tony you have not been yourself recently, Gibbs just wants to make sure you are feeling all right."

Tony sighed. "So I'm not laugh a minute player Dinozzo right now, I can have a few rough weeks too."

Down in autopsy: Ducky said "So Jethro who isn't feeling well on your team right now?"

Gibbs said" Dinozzo has his glasses on today, said his eyes didn't cooperate with his contacts because his allergies were acting up. So what's he allergic to?"

Ducky said" Dust, grass and pine which are common but not seasonal allergies. Though he has been dealing with a lot of personal stress of late Jethro, maybe his eyes were just tired."

Gibbs nodded. "Well I'll keep an eye on him, thanks Duck."

Ducky said "I'll do that as well."

Gibbs went back up to the bullpen again.

Mcgee and Ziva were talking about the previous day's case another suicide of a female petty officer. Tony was running the bank records. Mcgee said "This mirrors the first one exactly boss down to the wine and pills."

Ziva said" Could someone be staging these scenes to make us think they were suicides?"

Gibbs looked at Tony. He said "You're quiet over there Dinozzo do you have something to add?"

"Well boss the current victim just had a deposit of $ 50,000 put in her account two days ago. Slightly above her paygrade wouldn't you say?"

"And I may need some personal time but I think it can wait until the case is done. "

Gibbs said " Wait a minute, elevator now."

Tony nodded. "Ok but I don't mind telling you out here."

Gibbs stood in front of his desk . "Talk to me."

Tony said "I got a call from my dad last night, my grandmother isn't doing well. She's in the beginning stages of congestive heart failure and he thinks I should go and see her well in case. She is 86 Boss but a feisty woman, I get my stubborn streak from her."

Gibbs said "Go be there for your family. The case will wait, if need be I'll get Balboa to help us out and his team."

Tony nodded. "Ok I guess I have to put in the paperwork for the director." He and Jenny were still on somewhat frosty terms at the moment.

Gibbs said" Fill it out and sign it and I'll turn it in. You just focus on getting ready for your trip. And if your dad does anything to make it harder on you while you're there I am coming to kick his ass."

Tony smiled slightly. "You always have my six boss." He stood up and got his gear from his desk. "I'll be back before you even miss me, you might like it quieter around here."

Tony's apartment later: He was packing some dress and casual clothes and his IPod and new Kindle for the flight and had asked his neighbor to get his mail and feed his cat Leroy. He had put two litter pans out as well that were clean and freshly filled and dry food and water. He had found the cat a few months before in the winter behind a dumpster when he was putting his trash out. The kitten then had been left there and was cold and nearly hadn't made it. And Tony hadn't been able to give him up after a few weeks when he was healthy. So he paid $25 more in rent a month to have him there.

He petted Leroy and said "I have to go out of town for a little while. But Mrs. Jones will be over to feed you, so be nice. I am hoping this is a short trip but I don't know. It's not easy for me being around my dad sometimes." Leroy rubbed up against his hand.

Tony smiled. " Even you can lose your attitude with me when I need it bud." Then there was a knock at the door. He opened it and saw Ziva standing there. "Did you come to take me to the airport?"

She said "Yes I thought maybe you might need someone to talk to."

He exhaled. "I don't know if I am ready for this. I mean I know I could be saying goodbye to her and everything. I just hope she hangs on until I see her."

Ziva said" She sounds like a strong woman and I am sure she will want to see you too Tony. If you need me please call me and I am there, I know it is hard for you with your father and this time could be pretty intense."

Tony touched her cheek. "I will, I need to get there and see what I am dealing with first though."


	9. Chapter 9

Four days later:

Tony went into the bedroom where he was staying and dialed Gibbs' cell number. He had closed the door behind him and didn't want bothered for a few minutes. He waited for an answer hoping he wasn't interrupting the team in the middle of a case. "Gibbs."

He said "Hey boss , uh my grandmother's gone. She went peacefully last night in her sleep. She had a mild stroke yesterday and that was pretty much the end. "

"Tony I'm sorry take all the time that you need. But know your family is here for you when you need us. "

Tony said "Thanks , could you tell the team for me? I don't want to call everybody right now . I'm tired."

Gibbs replied "Done, you take care of yourself right now."

Tony said "Always boss. I have ravioli to make , we are having a family meal for my grandmother for just us before we do the public thing tomorrow."

Gibbs said" Well I think she would like that. I'll see you when you get back home."

Later that same evening: There was a knock at the door. Tony was sitting in a quieter corner by the fireplace while his dad and aunts were looking at old pictures for the funeral chapel the next day and talking. He said "Is anyone expecting a delivery?"

They all said "No." He said "I'll get it then."

He opened the door and saw Ziva standing there with a small carry on bag. He said "Come in ."

She put her bag down and hugged him. "Tony I am sorry about your grandmother and I thought you might need a friend."

He sighed. "I do. But I should warn you I have a slight wine buzz happening right now. We had a family dinner earlier for my grandmother for just us and we have pasta left. If you are hungry there is ravioli which I made or my dads fettucini alfredo with chicken. Plus meatballs."

Ziva said "Well apparently Dinozzo's know how to eat." She smiled. "I could try the ravioli since you made it and I always like good wine."

Tony nodded. "Follow me, I'll fix you a plate and then I will show you where you're staying. My room has a double bed if you're ok with that. Pretty much all of the others are taken."

Ziva said" We have had to share a bed before and I think we can do it again. Besides you need to sleep anyway."

Tony said "Yes I do, haven't been getting much. But then I don't sleep well when I'm emotional." He got out the food to reheat it for her and a plate as well.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day: Tony was pulling a suit out that he had brought with him, the only one he had packed in charcoal gray. He hadn't wanted black for today even though his family would no doubt be wearing it. He pulled out a pale blue tie and his hands shook as he tried tying it on.

"Shit." He muttered. "I need to look just right today, busted out the Armani for this and I can't even tie my damn tie." He swallowed for a moment.

Ziva took his hand. "Let me. It is all right to be a little unsettled right now Tony." She gently turned him to face her and began to tie his tie. "There we are, I don't know if I have seen you in a suit very much but you look very handsome."

Tony smiled. "Why my sweet ninja are you flirting with me right now?"

She replied "If it helps distract you or lift your mood a little then yes I am."

He touched her face gently. "Thank you. I might need that for later. I don't know what I am going to say when I speak. I know Tony Dinozzo speechless, go figure."

Ziva hugged him. "Do as Gibbs does and go with your gut. It cannot be a bad thing, whatever you remember about your grandmother will come from a good place Tony. Focus on those things."

He sighed. "I am glad you're here and this is almost over. I am ready to go back home again, this may be where I grew up and where my family is but it's not home to me."

She touched his face. "You need some sleep later after this is done, you were up a lot last night."

He said "I know, sorry if I bothered you. Maybe I need my own bed to shut it all off."

She said" I will come over to your apartment and give you a massage when we fly home. That will help you sleep."

Tony smiled. " Or make me want to do other things to break in my new bed."


End file.
